High Five

10 fingers come together. Someone got something right, someone nailed it right on the head, someone actually took something from what they learned. We are strange. With the slap of a hand you've earned some kind acceptance or appreciation. It's an unspoken acknowledgement of success no matter how limp or awkward it may go down.

So make someones day today and give 'em five.


and incase you need instuction to prevent failure...

"You don't want to be in love, you want to be in love in a movie."

"You don't want to be in love, you wanna be in love in a movie." -Sleepless in Seattle

This is one of my all time favorite quotes, because it's so true. We want the perfect, clean edged, blissful love that we see portrayed in the movies. Not the real thing. Real love is messy, it's hard, and complicated, a beautiful disaster. We think that if it's "meant to be" or if it's "true love" that everything will come together perfectly, no road blocks, no speed bumps, just a smooth ride. When in fact, real love has construction all over the place, because it's two roads come together. On the other hand there are those who will take any bit of lust, chalk it up and call it love. Hence, "love at first sight." All these notions are brought on by watching the romantic comedies Hollywood shoves down our throats. Don't get me wrong, I'm a sucker for a good love story, but as I sat and watched one tonight I noticed how it transformed my thinking. All of a sudden I was determined that I should happen to meet an above average looking guy who had above average goals who would fall in love with me despite my lack of above averageness, and our lives would pan out like a fairy tale. And this is the only way I'd really be happy. Grant it I was watching Cinderella, but still, things don't always work out. There's usually loads of heart ache and rejection before you ever find someone who can actually sing along with your tune, and even after that "it's not always rainbows and butterflies, it's compromise that moves us along" that maroon 5 knows what their talking about.

Anyways this subject has been covered a millions times, but it's been heavy on my mind cause it really bugs me. I saw 500 days of Summer a couple weeks ago and I completely fell in love with the movie. It managed to be realistic without leaving me completely depressed. I strongly recommend it to anyone who hasn't seen it, and a second time for those who have. Because that's life, getting screwed over and broken apart and then having to pick yourself up, put yourself back together, and try to find some good in all of it.

My wish is not that I live a fairy tale, but that I love the reality that is my life. Messy can be fun anyways, like food fights. Very messy, but also very fun.

R.I.P. Gillyweed

Two weeks ago today, my beloved Betta fish (Gillyweed) died. I had kinda been expecting it because he'd been kinda depressed lately. He wouldn't come to the top of the bowl when I tried to feed him, and usually when I'd talk to him he'd get all excited and flap his fins back and forth, but not anymore. He just sat there.

Anyways his passing on got me thinking, and I decided that Betta fish are a prime example and living proof that people need people (or in this case fish need fish). Betta fish are known for their aggression. They can't be around other fish without attacking, including their own mate and spawn. They also don't live very long lives.

As living organisms we need that interaction. We need attention, and adoration, and contention, we need people. As much as we try to be independent, so we can say we did it by our selves, or so we can avoid getting hurt, or for whatever reason, life can't be lived alone. So next time you're annoyed, aggravated, or just plain sick of one of your people remember, people are better then no people.

....as for Gillyweed, no fish will ever be as amazing as that little red guy. I will never forget you G weed.

The Inbetween Stage

I've reached that weird awkward inbetween stage, that everyone has to go through a some point. Inbetween teenager and adult, inbetween being the child and the parent, inbetween dependent and independent, but mostly inbetween here and there. When going home became my vacation, I realized I didn't really belong anywhere. I don't have anything here that I couldn't find somewhere else. I don't mean this to sound bad, or like i'm lost and confused. I'm just simply inbetween.

This is what I have to say reguarding being inbetween. There is a perminate sense of longing to find out exactly where it is you are going. It's like you've boarded the train, but you don't know where you are headed. So, not only do you not know when you will be getting off, you also don't know where it is you'll get off at. Once you've realized this, you'll also realize there is only so much you can do to plan and prepare for you're future. What if you packed sun dresses and a swimsuit and end up in northern Russia? On the other hand if you try to pack one of everything you'll still end up pretty empty handed, because everyone knows a girl can't wear the same outfit everyday. Still, if you spend all your time worrying, you'll forget to enjoy the ride, and what a pity that would be because the senerey is simply amazing.

So, the conclusion I have found to this predicament is to pack my most favorite pieces, including a pair of very lucky underwear, and pray for the best.
...and that's all anyone can do really, because there is just no way of telling what's ahead.