Sunday, October 21, 2012

Like the real kind.

I went out with an old friend tonight, on a date, but just as friends.
After we left the restaurant he ran back in to get a "validation" but I saw him give his number to a girl.
So when he came out I kind of made fun of him cause he was basically running because he was so embarrassed and I asked him what he said .. . he said that he told her he was on a date and he just had to sneak back in to give her his number. So all of a sudden I was super offended. Not because he gave his number to another girl but because he made me look like a fool. So I told him that was messed up. He told me that it made him look more cool. Then I was really pissed. I just felt used and embarrassed really. I mean mostly because I thought friends were supposed to treat you better, actually care. I mean if he had just been like look I want to go give my number to this girl over there I wouldn't have given a rats ass. But instead he was the exact same guy he was in high school. I expected more. Maybe I just thought he was a better person than he was. I just keep expecting time to change people. Make them better, but it doesn't.

Honestly I feel this way about everyone lately. Like everyone forgot how to care. I just want to be treated like a human being. I just want someone to look at me and not through me, and be genuine instead of fake, and I want them to sincerely want good things for me because I sincerely want good things for them. I want them to stand up for me and be there for me and care about how they make me feel. Honestly I just want a friend. Like the real kind.    

Honestly... I just want Zac.


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